Hey there people! Let's gab about abstract art.

To start, I hate it. I both love it at the same time. That's the nature of that art. Abstract art is meant to evoke an emotion out of you, in a minimalist way or in a complex one, that's the main goal of art in general, is to evoke emotion and responses. And I guess since i'm writing about it despite my loathing nature for the majority of it, I guess it's successful either way. So let me just blab out the main point of this.

Abstract art is often shat out by people who can't fully grasp the concept of their own work themselves. They rely on the general stupidity of the public to crap out an explanation, then they sit there and go: 'Yes. My large, purple square IS the embodiment of pure energy and the personification of the world.' Then people who see it and DON'T get a response, like the majority, rely on this sort of guilty clause to believe what some pompous dingbat shat out, and it continues on that way. WOW! I made a great picture! ONE MILLION DOLLARS PLEASE.

Squares are hard to relate to. Simple, unnatural inhuman shapes are very difficult to evoke an emotion out of. So the margin of error between genius and idiocy, at least when talking about geometric shapes, is very small.  I don't have a brother that is an isosceles triangle. My mother is not a cube. It's difficult to cultivate an emotion from 1st grade shapes.

A vast majority of abstract art has the same problem. It's done by people who can't render their way out of a 2-D Box. Quality, really emotional abstract art is 9 times out of 10, made by a person that at some point in their career, rendered amazing, beautiful and lifelike things. From there, they gain an understanding of their subject, how to simplify it down successfully, and make emotional compositions out of simple shapes. What most half-assed abstract artists do is go through 1-2 100-level drawing classes, then start pulling anatomy out of their own asses. It's not successful, and only due to peer pressure in not seeming like a dork for not "Getting it" does it have any weight at all. I'm going to call that the "Dumbass Clause" , believing there's more meaning behind an image just because there's gotta be SOME reason a person painted three equal triangles next to each other and titled it "Cabbage"

I've started fights about this before, with my teacher none the less. She had this view that abstract art (the nonsensical, stupid shit none the less) was the only true medium that mattered. That things like "rules" made all other art invalid. When i got into a debate with her that while some overly-rendered images can lose their meaning, it didn't disqualify them from being considered. That things like "the rule of three" were benefits for the viewer of the picture, that it evoked and helped portray an emotion. Stuff that's centered in the middle breeds this stagnation, stuff that half off the side makes a viewer frustrated, etc. They all had real basis to it, and really good abstract art STILL followed those rules. All the while she sat there going "Yeah? yeah? Uh-huh. Uh-huh, i can guess what type of artist YOU are" while other kissass students went "You can't tame art! Art is free!" OH SWEET GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP.

The first college I attended was more known for vet training and Criminal studies, not art (Went there to be a vet and changed to art). There started this whole annoyance fiasco. In my second painting class, where they mostly taught you how to COPY masterpieces instead of paint them, was this guy, the uber-hipster. We'll shorten it to UH. UH comes in late one time, interrupts the teacher's lesson and drops this 5 x5 canvas on the desk. The entire thing is painted this shit-brown/purpleish color, and loudly declares he's made a picture that accurately embodies the universe. Everyone is silent, except for me, who laughed loudly once because I though he was joking. After UH slowly gives me a cold stare that's about 4 inches above my head(seriously, the door at the back of the room was majorly dissed) the whole class just... wets themselves with his artistic brilliance, and the Dumbass Clause swings into full effect. One kid starts that it's so...SO deep, while the other starts explaining how this affects his soul. Going up to it and sensing the bullshit so heavy in the air it'd soon choke us all out, I asked him to explain how he embodied the universe. And he just keeps taking these deep breathes, looking around inches above everyone's head, more deep breaths before going... "Life... and everything, you know?" While I go "No, i don't. Explain the concept so that I can understand"

If you want to go the intelligent option, UH could've said that all instances and life mixed together create this muddy existence. That would've made it mean something, i suppose. But no. He continues to give me fragments of sentence, then half of another, all these existential shards that don't make a complete thought. From there, I'm forced to realize that he doesn't have a fucking clue what he's doing, and that once someone questions him on his bullshit, that veil is so strikingly thin that it's barely worth being there at all. All the while the people around me are having euphoric karmic out-of-body experiences about a shit-brown square, and I face-palm enough to leave a bruise.

There have been many, many other instances. The other notable one being a guy on a popular site's forum, where i swear to god, it's a series of scribbles and vague geometric shapes doodled on the back of a Steak N' Shake paper place mat. You can SEE the text in the image, upside down. This post was short and to the point. "Tell me how this makes you feel" When I wrote down "Confused, and not meaning anything because I can tell it's on a place mat and had no thought behind it" the guy erupts into a rage that he'll be acknowledged as the next great Picasso. I'm not shitting you. (Picasso is another one of those "i learned how to actually understand the human form before deviating from it" kinda folks btw)

Again, some abstract art can be good, deep and developed. That is a possible feat. I just wish people'd stop shatting all over the concept itself.